Shalom, regarding your narrative in the section https://kashrut.org/a-piece-i-wrote-many-years-ago/
Although I’m sure it was created with the best of intentions, the story uses the most extreme, negative stereotype — the “dirty-looking religious guy.” Unfortunately, this is not the norm and could easily be interpreted the wrong way by thousands of readers.
In my community, I know hundreds of sincere, observant Jews who are clean, professional, warm, and a true kiddush Hashem everywhere they go. The way the introduction is currently written may unintentionally cause harm rather than inspire growth. It could absolutely be presented in a more positive, welcoming, and constructive way.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment — I genuinely appreciate you taking the time to write it.
I want to clarify the intention behind the narrative in
https://kashrut.org/a-piece-i-wrote-many-years-ago/
A piece I wrote many years ago……
First, nothing in that story was written to insult or stereotype observant Jews. I come from the observant world, I live within it, and, like you, I know countless sincere, warm, clean, professional, ehrlich Jews who are a shining kiddush Hashem everywhere they go. That reality is true, and it matters.
The narrative was written for a different purpose.
Much of my work on this site deals with people who are struggling — people who were introduced to Judaism in environments that were inflexible, intimidating, or focused on externals rather than on God, halachah, and personal growth. Many of these individuals have been pushed into adopting cultural markers and extreme expectations that have nothing to do with Torah itself. And many have been made to feel that if they don’t fit a certain mold, they don’t belong.
Those people exist in very large numbers.
My story describes their experiences — stories I have heard over and over from real Jews who walked away from Torah because of avoidable, man-made barriers. The description of the “dirty-looking religious guy” is not a stereotype about frum Jews in general; it is a depiction of how certain newcomers perceive the religious world when they are exposed to the most extreme or off-putting versions of it. It is not meant as an indictment of the observant community, but as an acknowledgment of a reality that turns people away unnecessarily.
You are absolutely right that in many communities — including yours — observant Jews present beautifully, warmly, and professionally. I’m glad that is your experience. But many others, especially in places like Brooklyn, Lakewood, Monsey, and parts of Israel, have had very different encounters. My goal is to tell their truth so that they know they are not crazy, they are not alone, and they do not need to throw away Judaism because of cultural pressure or negative experiences. They can be fully observant Jews while living normal, healthy, dignified lives — whether in Nebraska, Montana, Los Angeles, or anywhere else.
In short:
I am not criticizing observant Jews as a whole.
I am criticizing certain damaging trends that push people away from Torah.
And I am trying to give struggling Jews a lifeline — permission to build a relationship with God without fear, guilt, or suffocating social expectations.
If anything, the intention is deeply pro-observant: to remove the cultural layers that hide the beauty of halachah and to make Judaism accessible, welcoming, and sane.
I sincerely appreciate your sensitivity and the way you expressed it. If anything in the wording caused discomfort, I hear you, and I value the feedback. My purpose is clarity, not division — and to help as many Jews as possible feel that Torah is something they can love and live.
Thank you again for raising the point. It helps the conversation move forward in a healthy way.