Hi, I read the post of the person who asked for guidance about going to a wedding in a church. I would like to share my personal experience. Years ago I found myself in a similar situation (which did not involve a convert). I was very young, felt under a lot of pressure, and I decided to “attend”, I made sure to arrive a few minutes late, and stayed outside the church. The first thing that happened was that another person (non Jewish but not a Xian either) arrived right after me, and she also decided to stay outside. I did not expect my actions to give support to someone else, I was not even aware this person was not a Xian and had objections about going into a church! The second thing that happened was that a priest showed up and invited us into the church. So I replied, thank you, we appreciate your kindness, we are not Christians. He said that everyone is welcome in the church, particularly at a wedding, whether a xian or otherwise. I replied again (the other girl was silent) we do not wish to, thank you for your kind invitation which is very appreciated. The priest said: “Please wait a moment.” He went inside, came out with two chairs and said, “make yourself comfortable, and it’s going to take another X minutes, in case you don’t want to wait here all the time.”

If we live as ourselves, respectfully, but as ourselves, we often find out that “they” respect us. And I am still very close with the people whose church wedding I “attended”,  they were not offended, they probably found out we stayed outside (or maybe they did not even find out) but either way they were not upset. The original post concerns a much more sensitive situation i.e. a convert, who is the spouse of the original poster, and her non Jewish family. This is a completely different situation. However I would like to share may experience anyway, because maybe someone else reading this is feeling pressured to attend the church wedding of their neighbour or colleague. It is my belief that no one should feel that social pressure is key in deciding what we do and what we don’t.