||What happened to us. It seems that the "yeshiva Oriented" community is increasingly trying to "appear" more religious and stringent, but in fact we are probably less so than before. We have totally mixed up the "Ikkar and the Tofel".
When I went to a Brooklyn "Black Hat" Yeshiva in the 70's, hardly anyone wore a white shirt or had the Yeshivishe Payos behind their ear. In fact, it was even discouraged because our Rebbeim said that it would fool us into thinking we were more religious than we really were, and this would bring about leniencies in our observance. I think their words came true these days.
STORY; Since I did not come from a Black Hat family, it did not dawn on me that everyone in the class was going to be wearing their hats at a Bar-Mitzvah. When the rest of the kids saw that I did not have my hat, they took off theirs so I should not be embarrased.
The next day, our Rebbe said he was very disturbed that no one was wearing their hat at the Bar-Mitzvah. When I explained that they did it so I should not be embarrased, he praised the class for their sensitivity, and said they understand the difference between Ikkar and Tofel.
This is normalcy. This is Chinuch. This is the way it used to be. This is the way it should be! What happened to us.
To quote an Adam Gadol " If it's Torah - then it's normal. If it is not normal - then it can't be Torah!
Thanks for listening.