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Author:  Rebecca
E-mail:  cutenshort27@yahoo.com
Date:  4/23/2004 10:53:00 AM
Subject:  My previous e-mail re: appearance of "yeshivish"
Message:  Dear Rabbi Abadi:

I wrote to you previously this week, and I am assuming that you are swamped and have not had the chance to review it.

However, I am writing you again on the same topic, because I am very eager for some understanding of this issue.

To sum up, I notice that all "yeshivish" wives, wives of those who sit and learn, and the whole Lakewood/Torah community in North America, seems to have this culture of "nebbish" and pathetic and poor appearance. Perhaps I am not explaining this right and I certainly hope I am not offending anyone at all, but frankly, I am so repulsed. I was raised in a Bais Yaakov/Torah world, went to Seminary and watched all my friends get married young and have children etc...

I chose a bit of a different path, however, and in my travels, I noticed this so-called "style". What bothers me the most, is not the style of men and women, as the punks and hippies are no better for sure. But for those who hold up the banner of Torah - those that sit and learn, and their wives who support them - have much more of an obligation to represent themselves as Princes and Princess would do. Dress represents status, as Tznius for men and women is representative of the Jewish nation. How then, could these "yeshivish" parents, who then teach their children to follow suit, dress like shlumps? Like the lowest of the low? It is disgusting to me - I am almost ashamed to associate myself with them, and I never do.

Please shed some light on this problem.

Brooklyn, NY

Reply:  It is a grave sin for a Talmid Chacham to walk around with a visible stain on his clothes. The Gemara says he is Chayav Mitah (will get killed by God).
Dressing like that is not permitted at all.

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