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Author:  Yael Malka
E-mail:  malkayael1@bezeqint.net
Date:  1/12/2004 11:40:00 PM
Subject:  Loshon Harah (emails)
Message:  -----Original Message-----
From: Yael Malka [mailto:malkayael1@bezeqint.net]
Sent: Fri, January 09, 2004 4:11 AM
To: aabadi@kashrut.org
Subject:


I was reading through some of the questions and answers that dealt with the big topic of Lakewood and just couldn't sit back and let them go without any response. I understand that many of the people writing about Lakewood are native Lakewoodees and are naturally biased in some way against the town because of their own personal experiences or traumas associated with the name Lakewood. I do not live in Lakewood nor do I necessarily ever plan on living there so I hope that my own biased opinions can stay in check. I decided not to write this in the open forum because I don't see a to'eles for any other reader to see this. However, I did think that it's important for the organizer of this website to understand my views as I hope that they are shared by many others who either have not seen this website, or saw but felt that it's not worth responding to. It blows my mind away to see someone claiming to be a respectable Jew to not only encourage bashing of many Jewish institutions, but then to go and post what seems to be loshon hara so that everyone can be nichshol in the same problem. How can you claim to answer Jewish shaylos and offer a halachic opinion if you are openly boasting things which are k'negged ahavas yisroel (let alone halacha itself)? These aren't questions and answers to the vaad of Lakewood, these are ventings to you alone, and it doesn't seem like anyone is doing anything about their problems. Besides for the fact that their taynos are unsubstantiated (this e-mail would be too long if I would have to tell you why they are unsubstantiated, but I am more than happy to write another one at another time explaining this opinion), they are also simply a bunch of k'vetching. You answered someone,"It is very important for people knee deep in...Lakewoody environments to be able to vent". What kind of opinion is this? Who says that it's important? Is it also important that everyone has to read what his venting is? How can you even encourage this? If I am wrong then I do apologize and hope that your reply will be very informative of the halachic and practical uses of this website. However, if you read this and see my point, then I should hope that you either completely remove these types of posts and maybe even start a new website titled "Our problems and how we will fix with them" to help ensure that this e-mail is less of a k'vetch and more of constructive step forward.
thank you for your time
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----- Original Message -----
From: Aaron Abadi
To: Yael Malka
Sent: Friday, January 09, 2004 9:57 AM
Subject: RE:


"I do not live in Lakewood nor do I necessarily ever plan on living there"
How do you know if it is real, or just Kvetching?
AA

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-----Original Message-----
From: Yael Malka [mailto:malkayael1@bezeqint.net]
Sent: Sat, January 10, 2004 12:01 PM
To: aabadi@kashrut.org
Subject: Re:


I'm not 100% sure that I understand your reply, but if I am getting it right then I think I have to clarify my issue. I am giving these people the benefit of the doubt that their problems are real. My point was that no one does anything about their problems except for just putting them up on postboards. This renders their real problems into real k'vetching. I still don't understand why your website is nothing more than an open forum for loshon hora (last time I checked I was pretty sure that lashon hora is on things which are true). Your reply to me should be along the lines that "this is not mere k'vetching or lashon hora... there is a light at the end of the tunnel that we are all working on diligently to achieve etc.".


______________________________________


----- Original Message -----
From: Aaron Abadi
To: Yael Malka
Cc: Chaim Abadi
Sent: Saturday, January 10, 2004 8:27 PM
Subject: RE:


Lashon Harah is only when the person regrets the sin or bad thing, and only when it is a secret that less than 3 people know about it. My brother Chaim is doing many things about it. Many of the complainers are from the people that he works with and he is making a major dent in it. Unfortunately, he can't change the whole town overnight, but there is nothing wrong with a little harmless "Kvetching."
AA


________________________________________


-----Original Message-----
From: Yael Malka [mailto:malkayael1@bezeqint.net]
Sent: Sun, January 11, 2004 1:24 AM
To: aabadi@kashrut.org
Subject: Re:


The heter of in front of 3 does not always apply. You already said something along the lines of there's nothing wrong with a little harmless k'vetching, says who? I don't believe that it's not lashon hora, and who says that it's harmless. If your brother is doing something then let them say their problems to him, what's the point of telling everyone else?


_________________________________________



----- Original Message -----
From: Aaron Abadi
To: Yael Malka
Sent: Sunday, January 11, 2004 6:34 PM
Subject: RE:


I'm not looking to convince you. I didn't ask for your opinion. I think you should keep out of deciding halachot about things you know little about.
AA


________________________________________



-----Original Message-----
From: Yael Malka [mailto:malkayael1@bezeqint.net]
Sent: Mon, January 12, 2004 5:53 AM
To: aabadi@kashrut.org
Subject: Re:


Yikes!! I'm not sure which halachos I know little about, but if you're referring to loshon hora I advise you to take a peek at Hilchos Loshson Hora k'lal bais siman bais. It sounds pretty straight forward unless you tell me that I don't know how to read or translate Hebrew. I know you don't need my opinion and I know now that you probably won't listen to me even if I may be right, but I'm just trying to do my duty of hocheiach tochiach and hope that some good might come out of it. If you aren't going to change anything you do then I don't even see a point of a reply. I have nothing against your website, I just didn't think it was correct to have these issues posted and had hoped that we would be able to mend these problems through this dialogue. If nothing changes, then all I can hope for is that everything is always done for the greater benefit of all k'lal Yisroel.    

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Reply: 
If she was worth responding to, I would tell her to look at .....
Kelal Daled #7, #11,
Kelal Zayin #5, #10
Kelal Chet #5, #7, #8
Kelal Yud #7, #13

But the main place to look is the Gemara in Yuma 86b 5 lines from the bottom, "Mefarsamin Et Hachanafin."
Then look at the Rashi there.
Then Ramba"m Perek Vov Hilchot De'ot Halachah #8
Then notice that the Kesef Mishnah says "Pashut."

Then she needs to work on her Gaavah. Her Tochachah is from her Yetzer Harah. She knows better than everyone. Who is she?! What makes her such a Talmid Chacham?!
Look at the words she writes. "Yikes!! I'm not sure which halachos I know little about...." How arrogant! and to top it all off, she's totally incorrect.
AA

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