|| I'm uncomfortable with the word "detest". Maybe the way they are learning or the places they are davening or .... are not to their liking and so they subconsciously "detest" them.
Maybe they should go to a Gateways or Discovery Seminar and learn about the z'chus we have to be Jews and to Daven and do Mitzvos.
Maybe they are just trying to do the Mitzvos according to every chumra available and it is too burdensome (then I feel their pain).
Being Frum is not supposed to be the right to choose which Mitzva you are comfortable with and just do those. That choice was taken by the Conservative and Reform. If some Mitzvos are hard, I will quote from Rav Nissim Yagen ZT"L "Yahadut, zeh lo kisei noach" "Judaism, is not an easy chair"
In short there is an education that these people need. It seems from your post that you are in the position to give them one. Hatzlacha Rabba. It is not an easy job, but it is rewarding job.
Excellent response. There were two great Roshei Yeshiva who said that a chumrah should not be taken on unless one knows the sugya backwards and forwards and feels that this is the correct halachic approach (Rav Shlomo Zalman was one)