||Don't be so harsh on him. He is probably from the majority of Lakewood people who have no clue what it is like to have a relative off the derech. These boys and girls need to see some enjoyment from Yiddishkeit, not the don't do list. If there is a way to use a minhag that some people have to present a positive view on yiddishkeit, it is our responsibility to publicize it.
Read this past week's 'Family First magazine' from the Mishpacha. There is a great article about the 'Bais Yaakovs and the Ipod' (title paraphrased). It shows us very clearly, how we are pushing girls away from Yiddishkeit. They don't live it, they act it! You can easily have girls who are not shomer shabbos, but dress very tsniusdik, including this new made up rule in Lakewood schools of 4 inches below the knee. (This halacha is a creation of someone in England and we Lakewooders love chumros, so we imposed it, through our over-protective schools, on our over-chumrad girls.)
There is a girl's school here in Lakewood that kicks girls out as often as he can. He believes in this type of Chinuch. Hopefully, the people will realize his lack of love for the girls and stop sending their 'Bnos Yaakov' there.
In short, we can't expect people who prefer to live by what other people say, to understand the MINYAN.