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Author:  LawrenceW.
E-mail:  not available
Date:  1/16/2006 10:59:00 AM
Subject:  Marriage
Message:  I have been reading a lot of the post regarding shiduchim and marriage. Am i wrong to assume that every man or woman has a personal responsability to go out and find a mate? The shidduch scene is traif, its tainted with money and false promises. Most friends have friends and they have friends, introductions take place and mature serious adults can handle it from there. I just cant figure out why so many people think that thier futures are in the hands of others and not God. When a man or woman is ready they should feel confident and secure that they can inquire in thier own community, school or social scene about someone who might fit thier bill of what they seek in a partner, why must we use these thiefs called shadchanim? In my opinion they are Jewish PIMPS!

If i knew of a good match for a fellow Jew i would immediately tell them free of charge (does that disqualify me from being Jewish?) and never even make someone feel awkward about giving me money.

I have friends who wont go to a shadchan because of this fact, they have no money or they simply dont want to pay for a date. Maybe JDate should be called PayDate?

Why wont Rabbis abolish this rediculous trend and bring us closer by banning money for dates? Perhaps more people will find mates this way. I know of one shaddchan that is literally RICH!!! from her business of matchmaking, simply doesnt make sense to me... please shed some light...
   
Reply:  No one forces you to use a Matchmaker. If you use them and they bring you a match that works, you owe them the money. Many marriages come through matchmakers and would have otherwise never have met.

Why are you getting so angry? I don't believe they charge to date....   If they did, I don't know if that is the end of the world.
AA

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