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Author:  Sad at the Status of Things
E-mail:  not available
Date:  12/21/2005 7:27:00 AM
Subject:  Shadcan&re: School Crush
Message:  B"H

Dear H'Rav Abadi,

I hear the pain of the parent who wrote to you about his daughter not being able to find a Shadcan to get married. I am married to a well-known rabbi, and often try to help young people find a mate (the family should check with their rabbi's wife, by the way).

The bigger problem is that men don't want women their age. These men put off marriage until they are 30 or 35, then they tell me they want a 20-year-old girl! (To a 20-year-old, 35 looks like their father, not like their mate.)

If I suggest that the men might like a 30-year-old bride, they balk. If I suggest to the women to meet a 30-year-old man, they balk. (They want a 20-year-old, of course.)

It is very sad that so many wonderful accomplished women sit alone at home either because the men won't look at them after they are 25, or because only the older men want to get married, but not to their age-group.

Right now, I know a man who is at least 45 who wants me to introduce him aa 23-year-old!

I wish these men would realize that, if they want a 20-year-old, they should get married at 20!!


Sad at the Status of Things
Reply:  It is a problem that will only get worse till changes are made. We can only daven and keep trying to make shidduchim.

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