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Author:  Confused
E-mail:  not available
Date:  12/18/2005 9:46:00 PM
Subject:  re: School Crush
Message:  I was confused by your response to this question.

This Jewish young man finds himself attracted to a Jewish young woman who appears to be permitted to him.

What's the problem? What do you mean when you say that it's not according to Halacha? What is the Halacha regarding meeting your future spouse? Is there something wrong with feeling attracted to someone? [I thought that was the turf of another religion]

Encouraging young Jewish people to marry each other is a top priority for our society, and I become greatly concerned when words are spoken that appear to lay negative judgment on someone who is apparantly eager to do the proper thing (as evidenced by the fact that he is asking the question).

Are you saying that there is no "kosher" way for this young man to have his interest in this young woman become revealed? Please elaborate.

Please forgive me, as I mean no disrespect. This is an extremely important topic. If any readers have a misperception about your words it can have a very detrimental effect.

Reply:  The 'kosher' way, is through a Shadchan. However, this is not for marriage. He is a high school boy. It is the Yetzer Hara's imagination, to think that this is for marriage. He should write the girl's name down and bring it up when it is time. If she is not available anymore at that time, then I guess the real Shadchan (Hashem) had other plans.

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