Q & A Board - View Post
Author:  Anonymous
E-mail:  not available
Date:  6/19/2005 10:03:00 PM
Subject:  Happiness
Message:  Rabbi-
I have a situation that I need your halachic help on. I was going out with a girl for a few months and my parents dont like her for some reason. They claim they get a bad vibe from her and they made me break it up. My question is, what mitzvah is more important: Honoring your mother and father or being happy with someone who you can very possibly marry?

Reply:  Was it a shidduch set up? If yes they should have done the research first. Once they let you go out, they run the risk of you marrying someone else and you always thinking it would have been better with this one and you will never be totally happy.

The Rama says in Hilchot Kibud Av Vaem at the end of Siman 240, that you don't have to listen to your parents, in reference to marrying someone. However, I would advise you to better ask a Rov what to do, after explaining to him all the circumstances. Hopefully your parents have a Rov, that they ask all their questions to. If not, you got real trouble. Very often, parents are misguided and the children suffer terribly. It may not be worth it to fight. Sometimes we are put in situations as part of our growing process. Hatzlacha in your shidduch search

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