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Author:  one who knows from hair
E-mail:  not available
Date:  1/23/2005 11:14:00 AM
Subject:  To Caring Father
Message:  Here is my .02 to "Caring Father":
From what you wrote it is really hard to tell whether your child has a behavior problem or just has really difficult hair!

Your message reads like a flashback to my childhood. Some kids just have naturally unruly hair. To make matters worse peers will be absolutely ruthless in pointing it out to you. If he wants to use gel to turn it into something that he can feel good about, who cares. The rosh yeshiva should be ashamed of himself not only for embarrasing the boy for his hair, but then by messing it up again and subjecting him to further ridcule from his peers.

I remember too well my yeshiva teachers humilating me over something I had no control over and all I was trying to do was make it livable. Not everyone can have typical yeshiva boy hair! If he wants to use gel or spike up his hair a little because that is the only way it looks presentable, then that should be just fine.

Now, if there is another side to the story such as your boy shows other atypical rebellious behavior and the hair is just another example of it, that is another story.

But I would give the kid a break on his God-given hair!



Author:        caring father
E-mail:      not available
Date:      1/22/2005 12:05:58 PM
Subject:      hair style
Message:      my son likes to brush his hair back sometimes even with a little jel. hes 10yrs old. his rebbi every morning with his hands messes up his hair. he even called me and said this is for bums and therefore unexceptable. now please direct me. my son is a very stubborn kid. what do i do, or say and to who? thank you for your time.
     
Reply:      You need to take yourself, wife and hopefully your son (1 day) to the pros and find out why he is acting out this way. It is one of the hardest things that parents have to do even thought it is below our dignity. Do it now before it is too late. Please do not listen to the latest "raid" on how to deal with this. It is impossible for any parent to help himself out of this sort of situation, without outside help. Of course you can wait till it gets out of hand and he challenges the Rebbi and gets kicked out and gets kicked out and gets kicked out and ....... You know the rest of the story.
His Rebbi is probably from the old school of thought and probably thinks he's helping things by messing his hair up. He is guaranteeing that your son will continue to do it.
"this is for bums and therefore unexceptable" DUH and what did he have to offer besides a derogatory name?
Hashem Yirachem - I wish you a lot of Siyata D'shmaya and Hatzlacha! Rememeber, always love your child no matter what. (Love, does not mean, do what you want kid just stay outa my hair, it means Love him/her!)
But if it is just the hair








Author:        caring father
E-mail:      not available
Date:      1/22/2005 12:05:58 PM
Subject:      hair style
Message:      my son likes to brush his hair back sometimes even with a little jel. hes 10yrs old. his rebbi every morning with his hands messes up his hair. he even called me and said this is for bums and therefore unexceptable. now please direct me. my son is a very stubborn kid. what do i do, or say and to who? thank you for your time.
     
Reply:      You need to take yourself, wife and hopefully your son (1 day) to the pros and find out why he is acting out this way. It is one of the hardest things that parents have to do even thought it is below our dignity. Do it now before it is too late. Please do not listen to the latest "raid" on how to deal with this. It is impossible for any parent to help himself out of this sort of situation, without outside help. Of course you can wait till it gets out of hand and he challenges the Rebbi and gets kicked out and gets kicked out and gets kicked out and ....... You know the rest of the story.
His Rebbi is probably from the old school of thought and probably thinks he's helping things by messing his hair up. He is guaranteeing that your son will continue to do it.
"this is for bums and therefore unexceptable" DUH and what did he have to offer besides a derogatory name?
Hashem Yirachem - I wish you a lot of Siyata D'shmaya and Hatzlacha! Rememeber, always love your child no matter what. (Love, does not mean, do what you want kid just stay outa my hair, it means Love him/her!)
   
Reply:  I am with you on this...
AA

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