Q & A Board - View Post
Author:  Lea hanan
E-mail:  leahanan@hotmail.com
Date:  1/23/2005 12:49:00 AM
Subject:  hair question
Message:  Rabbi,
I am in no way wanting to sound disrespectful, however I just want to understand where you are coming from. Regarding the father that has a 10 year old son that brushes his hair back, sometimes with gel. Why is that a bad thing? It sounded like you felt the family was in need of professional counseling and I seriously am wondering why brushing one's hair back should result in counseling.

Thanks for a reply. I enjoy your sight very much.
Reply:  In the nutty world of Yeshivot if the boy acts up a bit they destroy him till he is history. By professional, he didn't mean necessarily a psychologist. It can be a friend or a good Rebbi or a CSW. The key is to see if together they can figure out what makes him act out to risk getting his head chopped off in the long run.

Often it can be a need for attention even if it is negative attention. As ridiculous as it sounds, this type behaviour is 90% bound to get a kid destroyed. The ideal thing is to take all those Rebbis and Principals and the rest of them out back and shoot them. However until that is done, we need to be real careful.

Yes, it is a sick world out there, but what are you doing to help correct that? You still go to Shul with a black hat. Or maybe you donate money to some Yeshiva. Until we get out there and do something our children will continue to face the hell that they face each day.

The Yeshivot are out there fundraising. Then you get hit by the "kids at risk" programs. Then they come to you for Kiruv (outreach) programs. I say don't give any money to the Yeshivot. Shut them down! Then they won't be destroying kids and they won't chase our people away. Then we wouldn't need any Kiruv programs. Save all that money and use it to help the poor.

Who are the poor today? Not that Russian fellow who is a career beggar. No. The poor is that poor neighbor who makes only a hundred grand a year before taxes and can't make ends meet. Give him a loan for his business. Help him in his education expenses. Give him a chance to succeed. Strangely enough you barely see anyone helping another in areas related to earning a living. The biggest wealthiest businessmen who are honored every other week by another dinner, who they can't come up with enough praises for their wonderful deeds, these same guys often will eat you alive in business, will not even pay their bills. They'll wait six months and then force you to accept 60% or get nothing. Listen they need the money so they can give it to charity. Why can't we help our own people? Do we need a Tsunami to wake us up?

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